Severing integrity

One of the topics that I train teams and organizations on digs into some very specific ways to use techniques that de-escalate issues and decrease the duration of an issue.  

When I speak on this, I like to show “skills” or “techniques” that increase the duration of an issue, increase intensity, and increase the number of people involved.  These are known to damage or sever relationships when used consistently.  

  • Winning at all costs

  • Displaying anger

  • Demeaning others

  • Retaliating

  • Avoiding

  • Yielding

  • Hiding emotions

  • Self-criticizing

One of the hardest things to do is to hear a perspective that you disagree with at your core.  To acknowledge that even while disagreeing with someone who you may not even like, that they have made a valid point.  To acknowledge that our own experience creates a bias and a blind spot and that makes us angry.  

Injustice should make us angry.  Trading injustices should also make us angry.  We sever integrity and respect when we employ or cheer the very actions we previously lambasted.