Additional tips for working with high conflict people

These are additional ideas to consider before you response to someone at work who is high conflict:

  • “You can train yourself to think, feel and say to yourself: “His comments are not really about me.” “The issue’s not the issue.” “Her personality is the issue.” And other short, quick sayings that train your brain to not react defensively.”
  • “Stay focused and not slip into reacting.”
  • “Focus on policies” not personal attacks.
  • If appropriate, acknowledge something related to the topic at hand that the person does well.
  • “Mention a reason or remind the person of a goal that is related to the main topic and that will make the recipient be seen in a positive light.”

For a full explanation of this approach  and additional insight, please check out Bill Eddy’s book: