These are additional ideas to consider before you response to someone at work who is high conflict:
- “You can train yourself to think, feel and say to yourself: “His comments are not really about me.” “The issue’s not the issue.” “Her personality is the issue.” And other short, quick sayings that train your brain to not react defensively.”
- “Stay focused and not slip into reacting.”
- “Focus on policies” not personal attacks.
- If appropriate, acknowledge something related to the topic at hand that the person does well.
- “Mention a reason or remind the person of a goal that is related to the main topic and that will make the recipient be seen in a positive light.”
For a full explanation of this approach and additional insight, please check out Bill Eddy’s book: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/bookstores/biff